My Adoption Story;How One Decision Changed My Life Forever
I never thought that three words had the ability to change my life forever. I was lost and terrified because I did not know how to be a mother. What was my new plan? As my due date got closer, school became harder; my family became more distant also.
Not to mention I had no job; no one in my house hold did. To add to my luck, the father wanted nothing to do with me or his child. When one looks at the situation, they would see a typical teenager who did not make wise decisions. Believe it or not they would be right, but what separates me from the average teenager is that I learned from my irresponsible actions.
Three months passed by, three months I got to have my son as a part of my life. Kristin : When my husband, Eric and I got married, we thought we had our entire life planned out.
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After 5 years of marriage, we had accomplished many of our goals—except for one. We tried for 2 years to have children on our own and through fertility treatments. Every month it was always the same disappointing results: negative pregnancy tests. I asked him if we could explore other avenues like fostering children or adoption.
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One thing was for certain, we wanted to expand our family and fill our life with loving children. We soon decided adoption was for us and met with our agency in December of Kristin : We had no idea what to expect. We did not know anyone that had ever been through this process. We were told by the agency after all the paperwork and legalities were done, it could be anywhere from 2 days to 2 years to bring home a child.
Two years sure did seem like a very long time, but we remained positive. We felt like new hope had been restored in us. Amy: Tell us about the phone call you received.
What were your thoughts? How did you discuss it with your husband? Kristin : We finally turned in the last of the items required by the agency the week of October 12th, However because of the networking I had done on my own in the community, I received a phone call from a pediatrician on October 18th that there were twin boys born on October 16th that needed a loving family.
I jumped out of bed and could hardly focus on what I was supposed to do next. Eric was at the farm working, as he always does on his days off from the fire dept. The following month we went back to panel, then the month after that we met him and he moved in with us.
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He settled quickly and barring a couple of tears at night time initially he was a happy boy who quickly adapted to live with us. That was in , two years and three months since I had walked off the street into the adoption offices in King Street. Fast forward two and a bit years to September , life as a family of three was very settled, my boys were very close and I had moved jobs and was happily employed. We had always talked about going back and seeing if we could extend the family again.
I spoke to both of my boys and they were delighted. My youngest was very excited to not be the baby brother and was very keen to teach a new brother how to do things. My oldest was again happy it is not cool to show excitement at his age and we started the process again. This time we needed more space first, and ideally I needed to lose some weight.
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We started to build to give us some more bedrooms and I started to exercise more. These went side by side along with an update to our Form F. This time the assessment took longer, the extension alone took a year. I lost four stone, changed worker, finished the assessment and we were ready to go. During my assessment there was a shake-up at the adoption and fostering service and when I went to panel I was lucky to have to two workers with me who had completed my assessment. My initial worker had moved to the permanence team and was now going to be my family finder and my assessing worker.
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We went to panel in Easter The panel were great again this time they were even quicker to come to a decision. It had taken us 18 months to get to this point, we hunkered down ready for the long wait to find our next little man but little did we know what the following three months would have in store. I struggled with the idea of an activity day, seeing the actual children there I felt I would want to take them all home so we made the decision to go with an upcoming Exchange Day and re-evaluate the Activity Day at a later stage.
I was signed up and waited for the day to arrive. One week later I was walking in the woods over at Hazlehead when my phone rang. The reception was patchy but when I found a good spot my worker told me that she had attended the Activity Day, she had seen a little boy who she thought we should enquire further about.
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I was excited but nervous. I logged on to Linkmaker and was approved by my worker, I looked up the little boy and found his profile. Sometimes seeing it in black and white can make it seem worse than it is. Time to do the homework, questions had to be asked and people spoken to.
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Again this time I took time to speak with foster carers, social workers, and school teachers. The more I heard the more I loved my wee man before I had even met him. A date was made for panel and we travelled down in the sunshine to meet and discuss the match, again it went very smoothly and the decision was made rather quickly.